Final: Be a You-niverse

Ya can't spell "language" without the U! (YOU)

One of the main things to take away from this interpersonal course is that YOU as an individual, are the one who defines your reality, your space, your unique YOUniverse. Many things such as perceptions, emotions and identity scripts are within your control. Even if before taking this class, you believed these aspects of yourself and others were "the way they were born" or "that's just how I am"--now you have been empowered by understanding: This 'me' is just one way I can be, if I like being that way, and if I don't or if I am dissastisfied, I can be a different me! The tool for growth is , as Wood reminds us: language--it can limit us or propel us forward with progress and growth! Are you limiting yourself with language? Expand you vocabulary and expand your YOU niverse! For this portion of your final (20points) Identify 2 terms, (make sure no one else has used the same ones or I won't count your entry) pronouns or other words or short sayings that you use about yourself, either inwardly during negative self-talk or out loud in relationship-level communication that limit your growth or the growth of someone important to you--Language which you could improve. State the term or phrase and then provide and example of replacement language that will elevate you to be the YOU you aspire to be, expand yourself to become the 'self-actualized' YOU who uses powerful 'I' language, does not avoid conflict, listens with your heart and is mindful! Namaste!

My example: One thing is would like to change is my language when I get frustrated. I say "come on you piece of garbage" kind of under my breath when something falls or I drop something if I am in a hurry or can't get my keys in the lock fast enough. Know what I mean? This is a very negative phrase and it implies that inatimate objects are "letting me down" which is very egotistical. Random "inefficiency" has nothing to do with me, in fact, efficiency is my own perception, not every single thing in life is intended to be "efficient"--blooming flowers take a long time! So-I want to slow down, be more mindful and learn to let things go when they don't happen my way, acknowledge that I am not in control of anthing but myself and instead say "that's ok" which is a better response to teach my daughter too!

Summer's COMING!!!!!!

Wow--Presentations have been so great--I enjoy every day of class with you guys--you're alot of fun! Smart students too! So Chapter 11 tells us of 6 kinds of "love styles" Storge, Agape, Eros, Mania, Ludus, Pragma..."People differ in how they express and experience love (Lee 1973 in Wood p. 298). So, if the primary styles are limited to

1. Eros: Passionate love with great chemistry, and

2. Storge, which is a comfortable and stable love grounded in friendship....and

3. Ludus, or playful, uncommitted love....

Pick one of the those 3 primary stles and talk about it with us...either guess your own or your current or past partner's style, or analyze the style of some one you are close to, or give a celebrity or politician example---basically name a style and some one who seems to exude that style...how did/can/will it effect you? Styles of love are beyond judgement, neither good or bad--what matters isn't one's style but one's compatability with another, the combination of styles, needs and overall satisfaction in a romantic relationship!

Friends...and then some...

Hi Everyone! We turn from friendship to romantic relationships this week and the Wood text makes alot of comparisions between the two, they do share many stages and dialectical tensions...however, once a friendship becomes romantic, it rarely can return to "just friendship"--Why do you think is?

Tolle states, "Unless and until you access the consciousness of being "present"-intimate relationships will be flawed...True love is beyond the 'romantic' relationship...the reason romantic level love relationships are intense and sought after is partially because they promise delivery from fear, need, and other incomplete feelings which we can choose to work on within ourselves instead of looking for them in someone else" (paraphrased from The Power of Now, p. 140-150). What does this mean to you? Can you share an example that connects with these ideas? Keep it rated G for your old, stodgy teacher! Haha--Smiles--Sandra

FRIENDS

"You just call - out my name - and you know wherever I am...I'll come runnin', to see you again..."

Like the old James Taylor tune says, friendship means the world...and Chapter 10 spends some time on long distance friendships, noting that " Friendships that survive distance involve frequent emails, phone calls, letters and visits" (Wood 283). Can you give us a brief glimpse into a long distance relationship you either still have or had at one time. What was the communication like? Why did it survive the distance? Or why not? were you "friends of the heart" or "friends of the road" according to Wood? Everybody sing!:

"Winter, spring, summer or fall.....all you have to do is call, and I'll be there.....you"ve got a friend!"

Extra Credit Spring Break Bunny Blog

Hi! Ok--You want exra credit? Connect any aspect of bunnies, rabbits, chicks or eggs to one key concept from interpersonal communication, such as mindfulness, proxemics, non-verbal communication, culture, I-it, I-You, I-Thou (Buber)....ummmm.....attachment styles....schemata........You get the idea--Happy Spring, hope you're having a good time! S

Quiz Chapter 8

As you know, this week's quiz on chapter 8 is here and due Wed by midnight. Please write a 2 page research oriented analysis of simultaneously sustaining communication climatic interludes.

APRIL FOOL'S!!!!!!!!

Hahaha!!!!!! There is no quiz--go have fun for Spring Break--Try to read a bit of chapter 9 and 10 as those are the chapters that we will cover the week after break--for this extra credit blog--post some fun plans you have for break (or crappy work plans) and connect them to the novelty/predictability dialectic from Chapter 8-- meaning we don't like too much predictability or we get bored...we need some unplanned good times BUT... too much novelty/excitement/lack of structure can be stressful and draining...where do your plans fit on this continuum? Do your friends/significant others share your balance between the two extremes? --Have fun and please be safe! Smiles--S

Emotions

Chapter 7 deals with the mystery and the power as well as the risks of unchecked emotions and the importance of them in interpersonal scenarios. Choose a vocabulary word or key term you find interesting from chpt 7 and explain it in your own words. Read the previous entries to avoid choosing the same term as someone else.