Wow--Presentations have been so great--I enjoy every day of class with you guys--you're alot of fun! Smart students too! So Chapter 11 tells us of 6 kinds of "love styles" Storge, Agape, Eros, Mania, Ludus, Pragma..."People differ in how they express and experience love (Lee 1973 in Wood p. 298). So, if the primary styles are limited to
1. Eros: Passionate love with great chemistry, and
2. Storge, which is a comfortable and stable love grounded in friendship....and
3. Ludus, or playful, uncommitted love....
Pick one of the those 3 primary stles and talk about it with us...either guess your own or your current or past partner's style, or analyze the style of some one you are close to, or give a celebrity or politician example---basically name a style and some one who seems to exude that style...how did/can/will it effect you? Styles of love are beyond judgement, neither good or bad--what matters isn't one's style but one's compatability with another, the combination of styles, needs and overall satisfaction in a romantic relationship!
If I had to choose one I would choose Eros: I have to share chemistry with a woman before I can consider myself to be a possible girlfriend.
ReplyDeleteI must share some likes dislikes but we have to be able to talk. Without communication my relationship wont survive
When looks fade, I must be able to relate to my future wife
My choice would have to be 'Storge' partnership style. Especially when it comes to Interpersonal Communication. I believe that most encounters with either your significant other or your friends include some degree of friendship in addition to some degree of love. If one bases their entire relationship on complete and total love like Eros, faults are bound to occur because of the lack of meaningful friendship. But I do agree with Rob that looks ultimately fade, and another element (friendship) must be present for a stable relationship to continue.
ReplyDelete-CraigC
I'm going to go with Eros because without passion or a strong connection, whatever feelings you may have towards a "potential" will not withstand.
ReplyDeleteCommunication is also essential, because without it, there's no support to hold the relationship together. That would be like taking away the heels on a pair of cute stiletto's - what does that make it? Nothing. Which is what I presume would happen to a similar relationship involving me.
I also agree with Rob in that there needs to be personality beyond looks with my future potentials as well. Step it up boys! =P
I have had a mix of all three in relationships. I have been in non commitied relationships, and it was intersting because there is some comfort in that you don't have any added stress about the commitment stuff because everything is out in the open. I have been in monogamouss relationships and those have the good and bad stuff to like a non commitied ,but with the added commitment issues.. I am very playful in either aspect and what I am seeing in my life today is to have intimacy first with anyone and that it dosen't start with a hook up of any sort.I am learning to develop that closeness without expectations from another person, and so I am learning so much. in June I will be speaking in Reno, and I will stay at a friends house the night before and she is going to cook dinner for me, and we will have time to fellowship before and after the meeting I am speaking at. So I will be practicing all of these in a non sexual , but intimate way.Michelle P
ReplyDeleteReading the other commitiments I want it all!!!!! They are all within me!Michelle P
ReplyDeleteI’d have to say that I’ll be more of a storge type: I have to be comfortable enough with the person to have any sort of relationship. For me, my significant other would have to be at least one that is like my best friend—someone that I can confide in and trust. I’d say that I fall more in the secondary style of love—agape—which includes both eros and storge, so I agree with both what Craig and Rob said. Eros- passionate love with great chemistry—does have some importance to me; there are bound to be some differences between us, otherwise it’ll be like loving yourself (or another version of yourself). However, once the passion fades (along with the vibrant appearance), there has to be something to fall back on to keep the commitment going and to have a meaningful relationship—grounded in friendship in this case. I’d want to be with someone who I wouldn’t mind spending my time with and be comfortable with. So, the storge portion would have to dominate for me (out of the agape style).
ReplyDelete--Julia K
I would have to say storage love because our love is grounded but it is still like a friendship. We can talk to eachother bout a lot of things and still confide in eachother like friends do. It's also comfortable and grounded and its not too much its just right.B Knight.
ReplyDeleteI am going to talk about Eros style of love. From being in relationships I realized that I have experienced Eros the most. Speaking for myself, I love hard. I think that you have to be passionate in when loving someone. I also feel that you must have chemistry with the person your interested in. If you don't have chemistry with your partner than eventually the two of you will get tired of one another. I have had strong chemistry with all of the people i have dated and that is something that i look for in a relationship. I want to be able to have a strong connection in my realtionship.
ReplyDeleteBless McCrary
I would say that my current relationship is founded on Storge. I say this because I feel that being friends prior to committing to a romantic relationship can set the tone for a longer lasting relationship. As Rob and Craig both said, looks eventually fade. In addition the initial spark in a relationship will eventualy fade and plateau at some point.
ReplyDeleteWhen this happens, in order for a relationship to survive, a couple must be able to "weather the storm." What I mean by this is that Storge dictates that your love is grounded with friendship so you will always have something to fall back on without fizzling out.
With storge you can always feel comfortable enough to allow your relationship to become an I thou where you can be yourself and be comfortable in each other's company. After all being comfortable and secure is what we are striving for in any relationship.
Tim Cereceres
I favor Storge love more than Eros. As Tim already discussed some, that intense passion based on emotion will not last forever. However, I think that the strongest kind of love favors both Storge and Eros. For instance, a love that isn't passionate and just based on friendship may be good but won't possibly reach the emotional heights that eros does. Yet, at the same time, a relationship based on emotion itself isn't stable since emotions can take you for a rollercoaster ride. I would have to say though, that I would add more of the Store than the Eros into my ideal relationship because I believe that friendship can go a long way in building a healthy and solid relationship.
ReplyDeleteDaniel McNeil
Thoughtful comments-Thanks! Sandra
ReplyDeleteI prefer to have a relationship more along the lines of storge. I am concerned about the stability and balance of a friendship that storge offers. I have never been a person that is into someone for the sake of superficiality because once you get past the physical appearance there is no substance left to stay interested(ludus). I know most of the time an initial interest in someone can be based on their physical appearance at first, but you still have to have some sort of chemistry to continue. Once the chemistry becomes apparent then you strive onto develop your friendship on the basis of love. Love adds the security in the relationship giving it longevity. In this day and age I think everyone is looking for security and longevity in everything around them, especially emotional/loving support from a significant other or friend. In other words we all need a sense of belonging to feel secure in anything that we have.
ReplyDeleteMimi L.
If I had to choose one, I would choose storge. Passion is a wonderful thing to have in a relationship, but lasting relationships are built on mutual trust and friendship--not chemistry. I am lucky in that my partner and I have great chemistry and a great sense of play while also being great friends, but I know that the other stuff can wear off as we get older, or be subsumed as we are overwhelmed by life, but our ability to be great friends will last.
ReplyDeleteAmber Beckton
In my current relationship I would have to say it most resembles Storge. It is very comfortable, stable, and love grounded in friendship. This is mainly because my boyfriend and I were originally friends before we bacame a couple. We are not at the "I love you" stage yet, but there is the stability and comfort that makes us happy together. Love is made up of many many parts, but friendship is a strong part to it. Of course we are playful and have passion too, but Storge most describes our type of Love style right now.
ReplyDeletePaige Miller
I think my current relationship is based on the Eros style because nearly everything seems to click with us: we're both goofy, hard working, and loving. I don't think I can find any other person in my life that I can openly share my most embarrassing moments with. To me, I have to have that connection, that sort of chemistry, between me and my boyfriend or I won't feel like he's someone I can trust and depend on. I think we do joke around with each other like those in a Storge-style relationship would, but we love and care for each other like those in a Eros-style relationship would, so I think that makes our relationship to be more Eros than anything else.
ReplyDeleteHeather Ito
For me first impressions are very important and finiding out if there is chemistry between us is even more important. I try to decifer very quickly after meeting the person and seeing if I would like to maybe start a relationship with them if we have any type of chemistry. In my case Eros would be the best form of love style because I really need tohave things incommon with the person. This style of love just describes the way I am overall.
ReplyDeleteCristina Jimenez
I am going to to say storge. Eventhough passion is very important, i feel that a relationship cant not exist simply on passion you need freindship and understanding on other levels than just passion.
ReplyDeleteAbrar
I have never heard of these terms until taking this class and reading this chapter. I thought that it was really interesting that there are different categories for love. Probably the most appealing to me was Storge. If you understand each other and understand each other than it is much easier for a couple to get along.
ReplyDeleteI think both my partner and i both have the Eros style of love. mainly because we are so much alike in the things that we do.When we started are relationship it was as if we had known each other forever. We did everything for each other and always expressed how we felt towards one another.We had no problem telling each other about are past.We always express our emotions, which was kind of hard but once i saw that he was comfortable with telling me ANYTHING,I soon broke out of my shell.We get mad when we cant be around each other.We call each other alot when we are apart. I think that we will be together for a long time, mainly becuse we are commited to each other.U-kyr@
ReplyDeleteI just want to add to what I said earlier. I think that Compatibility is very important and should be mutually negotiated and should forms the foundation of a solid love relationship. The key to successful negotiation is to never compromise anything unless it has a much greater value than what you are losing. Having a solid foundation allows both partners to identify which factors can be compromised and negotiated so that neither party “loses” .
ReplyDeleteoppps i didnnt put my name above.
ReplyDeleteABrar.
if i had to choose on it would be storge. my highschool sweetheart and i relationship was based on friendship first before we even got passionate. we have been through a lot and even thoe we are not together she can still talk to me and vies versa. i am a committed lover and i learned that if you cant get along with somebody that its not going work out. harold davis
ReplyDeleteIn my experience and opinion, I've found that in order to create successful bonds with a significant other incorporation of all three styles must exist. It's key to have the fire of Eros, the comradery of Storge, and the laxness of Ludus; not to say that one shouldn't take thier relationship serious- it's just that there should be an element of playfulness. All work and no play makes for a very unhappy Meriam ;0)
ReplyDeleteI fully agree with Craig and Bharathi also. The package we come in is almost always the insta attraction- however if your personality doesn't shine past your looks for me thats a definite deal-breaker. Looks are secondary to wit, humor, and confidence in yourself.
it looks like alot of ppl have been saying storge and not to follow the masses but im going to say my love is like storge, grounded in friendship. which means alot to me, in order for me to have that feeling of love with another person they would have to be friendship before anything. Like Harold said "if you cant get along with somebody then its not going to work out" And i think that the best thing about being friends before becoming romantically in love is that if things don't work out between the two of you then you still end up with a really close friend. well that's what i believe, i guess if your lucky it might end that way, haha
ReplyDeleteBrandon Tacotaco