"You just call - out my name - and you know wherever I am...I'll come runnin', to see you again..."
Like the old James Taylor tune says, friendship means the world...and Chapter 10 spends some time on long distance friendships, noting that " Friendships that survive distance involve frequent emails, phone calls, letters and visits" (Wood 283). Can you give us a brief glimpse into a long distance relationship you either still have or had at one time. What was the communication like? Why did it survive the distance? Or why not? were you "friends of the heart" or "friends of the road" according to Wood? Everybody sing!:
"Winter, spring, summer or fall.....all you have to do is call, and I'll be there.....you"ve got a friend!"
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I have a few friends who live in the east coast but since I met them for the first time this past summer (at a 3 day youth retreat), I'm not really close with them yet, so the long distance doesn't affect our relationship as much as it would if we were better friends. But we did all become pretty close. The first week after the retreat, we kept in continuous communication through facebook chat and commenting on the many pictures everyone posted from our respective cameras. Although I'm still pretty good friends with all the east coast people we met, I've lost touch with them considerably as the months have flown by because we can't easily visit. But we still freqently chat online and chose to stay in touch that way. So in the end, I think the distance is what is holding us back at this point, but hopefully we can all get together again this summer!
ReplyDeleteBharathi
I believe that TRUE friendship survives anything. I am originally from the bay area, so all of my closest friends live out there. At firrst when I moved out here I was home sick because I wasn't able to see my best friends. Even though I live out here, it doesn't seem like we live in different cities. We all txt message eachother everyday and talk on the phone weekly. All of us has a myspace account, so we e-mail eachother also. When I have time I always go out there and spend time with them and they come out here and do the same. My moving out here has not effected our relationship, it has made us closer. I think we all appreciate one another more and we are still there for eachother. I love my friends, they have become like my family.
ReplyDeleteBless McCrary
One of my best friends was going to school in Oklahoma for the last four years and has just recently returned. We kept in contact very well and spoke on the phone almost every week. Now that he's back it's almost like he never left. We still hang out like we used to, but some of our friends from way back aren't around anymore. They're still in town but they didn't keep in contact like we did so we don't see them anymore.
ReplyDeleteI am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. And that the people we come across in our lives are for a reason too. Whether are not they are still actively in our lives. One of my closest friends in high school currently is at CSU Fullerton and I feel as though I barely know her now. I probably couldn't tell you much about her life right now. It is sad to think how close we used to be, but we both moved on with our lives. She just isn't someone I think to turn to in times of need anymore because I have my close friends here in town that I speak to and see every day. I think friendships change over time and distance and where everyone is at in their lives.
ReplyDeletePaige Miller
And in response to Bless, I agree with you that TRUE friendships survive anything. That is why there are so many friendships that come and go. There are a select few that remain forever!
ReplyDeletePaige Miller
I have friends who live on the east coast and we talk frequently. We don't email but I prefer the telephone with friends who are far away. It has really taught me about showing up in all my relationships with people. I never wanted to show up in the hard times before but now I do, mostly and when I don't it is really uncomfortable.So I work at it I pray about it, and I try not to try , but instead ask god for help in those moments when I am am having a hard time.Michelle P
ReplyDeleteI agree with Bless true relationships do survive no matter what. I have had a difficult friendship with someone currently, but i believe that for today God wants me in that relationship ,but sometimes the communication is hard or uncomfortabel it is easy when there is nothing going on, but when your showing up and trusting it is different.Michelle P
ReplyDeleteAfter I left the Military, I had 5 freinds that I kept in contact with for about a year. Our main way of contact was writing letters to each other back and forth. In the military it takes about a month before you will even recieve a letter by mail. The distributing process takes forever, by the time you get the letter that was mailed, it's old news. When 9/11 began alot of my freinds were shipped all over the world and I have'nt heard from many of them in several years. I hope they are all still living and continuing to thrive in the service and maybe one day I will come across at least one of them. Maybe I will use "Facebook" to do some searching. Hmmm
ReplyDeleteMimi L.
When I was in 3rd grade I remember that I met a girl named Helena. She was from Spain but was living in Davis for half a year because her mom was teaching at the University for a quarter. Helena and I became real close friends but when it was time for her and her mom to go back to Spain things chnged. We exchanged addresses but for some reason after a few letters sent back and forth I lost contact with her. We were both 8 or 9 years old at the time and after that we have never spoken to eachother ever again. I thought then we were the closest of friends but when I lost contact with her it didnt take me that long to find a new best friend. ( I think the age had alot to do with it.)
ReplyDeleteCristina
I've can say that I've met a lot of wonderful people in my life. I have done my fair share of traveling and in the course of that have made many friends along the way. It's not always easy to keep in touch with the type of lifestyle we live. I think through the hustle and bustle of commitments, responsibilities, and prior obligations- keeing contact with someone who Isn't in your vicinity can be a challenge and an effort. That just may be what makes friendship a real friendship. Just like a romanitic relationship- a friendship needs nurturing.
ReplyDeleteLike Cristina- I made a friend for a brief period in my life during a great summer trip i took with my family to Yosemite. I spent two weeks with a new best friend and it was awesome. I remember how much fun we had, the same age and into the same stuff. We ened up being pen pals for like four years after that. It dwindled off- us getting older and new things happening in our lives... but what a great memory I have of me an Jenny- a couple of ten year olds that made penpals outta one another.
My mom and dad divorced when I was nine years old. We moved to California and my dad stayed in Arizona. Even though he isn't here he's still a big part of my life. We talk on the phone at least once a week. He sends me something every birthday. Even though he and I only see each other once a year we're still close.
ReplyDeleteLong distance friendship is definitely possible if the communication is there. you have to tend to your friendship to make sure it continues to bloom. I am lucky that most of my good friend live about two hours away. My good friend moved to NJ with her husband a year ago. I will admit that is is very hard to keep in touch. But i think technology had made it easier for us to check in with each other. We email each other often. I do not always have time to call her so i just text her with updates about my like in week. We also promised to remember all the holidays. We send a card or a little present that's funny only to the two of you. Just cause you're far apart doesn't mean you can't laugh together. Also we plan to visit each other once a year. So far so good. We'll see how it goes.
ReplyDeleteABrar
Friendship come in different forms, school buddies, sport mates and sometimes one makes friends with people to get with the in crowd. I have a group of friend that came to me a different way, and our connection is deeper than any ocean
ReplyDeleteI would give my life for my boys, Ive spent 8 year bonding with him, and caring for them as my brothers. And I know that they would do anything for me.
For me long distance friendships are difficult. I personally have a hard time trying to stay in touch with anyone more than 20 miles away! I am not a big fan of conversing on the phone. If it is not by text or e-mail then you probably will not hear from me. This is one reason I am a fan of sites such as myspace or facebook. It is easy to keep in contact with people from afar. So yeh umm... That is all...... ;) @>---
ReplyDeleteA.i.R.
I have had many friends move away for college, as a matter of fact I moved away from home for college. Currently one of my best friends lives in San Diego attending SDSU in pursuit of a future acting career. I consider him like a brother to me and distance has not changed our relationship too much. If anything we are even more excited when we get a chance to hang out. Though we do not talk everyday or see eachoether every weekend when we do get to spend time together it would seem as if it was just yesterday we were hanging out. Most of my friends at some point have moved away from home but the relationship with them has not changed. As people grow they need to become more independent of their friends and build their own identity so they can have their own careers and family. Just because the frequency of seeing your friends might lessen the closeness and love doesn't need to. I still feel as close to all of my childhood friends as ever, though almost none of them live in Sacramento, some have started into their careers, others have fallen in love and moved in with the girlfriends, and others have even moved for work, yet we are all still as close as can be and when we get to see eachother our relationship would seem as if nothing has changed.
ReplyDeleteJarreau
One of my long-time friends from kindergarten moved to Oregon with her family when we were in middle school. Throughout our middle and high school years, we kept in touch via snail mail and sent photos of each other during those times. At this time it was hard to call her because of long distance fees (this was before the time where anyone could obtain a cell phone), but we were successful in updating each other about what was going on in our lives at that time. Around our senior year, our letters (communication) decreased a bit because she got married and was starting a family, on top of that she was finishing high school and working. The years that followed, our communication became more infrequent because we had different busy lifestyles-- she has her growing new family and a job to deal with and I have school. I still tell her things that happened in my life via myspace, but it takes a long while for either of us to reply to one another, so we respond to each other whenever we can. So over time, we grew apart. One thing we do do no matter what is to wish one another a happy special occasion (e.g., birthdays, holidays) and ask how things are going from there.
ReplyDelete--JuliaK
I have had several long distance relationships in the past. However, to this day none of them have survived. When I was living near my friends we were pretty close. Even when they first moved and for some time we have kept in contact. But eventually they have died down and for one relationship I can't exactly pinpoint why we lost contact but I can make an educated guess. I think sometimes friends get busy, but just because this might of happened to me I still do believe that long distance relationships can work.
ReplyDeleteDaniel McNeil
One of my friends moved to Alabama when we were in high school. But he was two years older than me... And he kind of creeped me out... And we were not that close... So the communication did not last. He tried to call but I let it go. I got caught up in my own things. He was more of a school buddy. It didnt work because I didnt allow it to.
ReplyDelete==Melina C.
Zuleika
ReplyDeleteI've had many long distance friendships and some have survived for a while but others have drifted off. My longest surviving friendship was probably the one with my best friend from kindergarden. I was born in LA and shortly after moved to Mexico. We lived in Mexico until I began third grade, which brought me here to Sacramento. In kindergarden I made friends with twins- a brother and sister that were born the first day of the year. We always used to be the top three students and we liked being with each other. At the beginning of our long distance friendship we did not keep contact in any shape or form. But every summer that I would return it was as if we had been together the whole year. I believe we were friends of the heart because we still went right back together every summer we saw each other, but freinds of the road because it was in those summers that we blossomed and renewed our friendship. Alas as we grew up and my time in Mexico was shortened in place of summer club activities and such and since we were growing we began to keep in touch through phone and later through e-mail. Our last contact was my junior year when it was decided by their mother that they would finally get to use their visa and come to their father in the United States. We no longer saw each other or talked to each other. I know if we were to see each other again we could still get together and play a mean game of volleyball.
as of right now i do have a couple of friends that live in washington state, i talk to them as much as any of my friends they might live far away but im still in contact with them. my friendship with them is kinda weird because im really close to them but at the same time i only see them one month outta the year. There are times where i have absolutely no contact with any of them and might not talk to them for weeks. Its all cool though because then you get to catch up on each others life n what not. I think a lot of my friends there are friends at heart all because i have been through a lot like crazy stuff.
ReplyDeleteBrandon T.
At the beginning of my college career I was dating a girl named Jessica, but we all called her J. Originally she was from San diego, and she had moved her to go to school.
ReplyDeleteWe dated for about 1 year and then she had to move back home. We tried to keep the relationship going, with frequent phone calls and expensive flights back and forth. it lasted about 3-4 months after she moved back. Although we kept in contact with each other during that time, it wasn;t until she moved away that we realized we had two different ideas of what we wanted to do. I wanted her to move back and she decided she needed to stay at home for a few years.
In the end we broke up because of variety of reasons, but more so because after the move we had to continue our lives on different pathwways in life. Because we no longer shared common goals our relationship was set to fail eventually, it was just a mtter of when.
I learned a lot about relationships with Jessica, what to do and definitely what not to do. In the end I found it to be a valuable life lesson but an expensive one.
Overall long distance relationships are extremely difficult to maintain. I consider a friend to be someone i can count on any time and any place. It hard for me to consider someone who is not physically present in my life to be a good friend. I tend to consider them acquaitances, because of their distance.
Tim Cereceres
I've had many friends that have come and gone and mostly communication starts to drift away once they move. Sure when they drop by and we meet again we would go out and do whatever, but once they leave again I don't get to hear from them much. I have a myspace and I would usually see how some of my friends are doing. I try and stay in contact with some of my closer friends but really it's not really the same since we can't do anything. Once every couple weeks I get a call or email from an old friend just to see how things are doing so I could at least say our friendship hasn't died, tho it's not as strong as it used to be.
ReplyDeleteDaniel Flores
Long distance relationships take a lot of work and time and dedication. I think that if you and the friend want to make it work it will. If you guys have that type of relationship that you really care it will work. But if one gives up the other doesn't have much to grasp onto and it usually falls apart. I never really had a long distance friend relationship the only relationship I ever had was a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. He lived in San Francisco and I lived in Sacramento it didn't work out. I guess because I was that one who didn't really put in the effort and he did. I think that friend relationships that are long distance last longer than sex relationships.
ReplyDeleteBrianne K
I have lost touch with a couple of my old friends due to them moving away and going to different schools. We weren't best friends, but I still considered them my dear friends. One moved all the way to the East coast because her dad got a job there and the other finished high school early and started college in what would have been her junior year in high school. After they left the school, I barely talked to them. There were a few occasions where we would talk on AIM, and we would end the conversation with the "We have to catch up later!" but of course, we never really do. I guess it's because we've found different interests or the gap between the last time we talked was too great to fill in, but we've now become mere acquaintances in each of our lives.
ReplyDeleteWhat I fear now is losing touch with my best friends after we all leave City college and go our separate ways. But as Bless stated, "true friendships survive anything," so I'm sure we will all keep in touch in some way or another.
Heather Ito