Has anyone ever told you something but conveyed through body language: It was a lie?! Did you know we believe non-verbal communication much more than the words that are spoken to us! A big difference between verbal and non-verbal communication is that verbal communication can "stop"--a speaker can be quiet and the message gets interupted...Non-verbal is 24-7--always conveying meaning, It's like the 7-11 of Interpersonal Communication! Review the 9 types of non-verbal category and select one-they include PROXEMICS-KINESICS--HAPTICS--PHYSICAL APPEARANCE--ARTIFACTS--ENVIRONMENT--CHRONEMICS--PARALANGUAGE--SILENCE (See Chpt 5)--Then give us an example in your world of one of these non-verbal types and the particular meaning it conveys to you and for you...use cultural, gender, and other individual aspects that affect this meaning...
FOR EXAMPLE: I'll Take 'Chronemics'--Meaning conveyed by time--my husband and I read time as having some different non-verbal meanings...I think it is insightful that when I discuss time, I say things like: We're running late OR we need to leave in 10 minutes--Steve says things such as "We should get going OR "Are you ready?" Metaphors we use surrounding time affect our relationship to it--in my symbolism, I convey a "race" against time...whereas Steve indicates that he is separate from TIME and may or may not choose to keep up with it--when we try to leave for a trip, as opposed to make a specific appointment, a set departure time is not a big deal to him, whereas I insist on it--Our relationship has alot to do with negotiating the relational meaning about our treatment of time--We have some good laughs about it as we get to know each other better, but it can be a cause of arguments too!
YOUR TURN!
A good website for Feng Shui can be found at http://fengshui.about.com/
and you can research non-verbal touch at http://imsc.usc.edu/haptics/
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Physical Appearance
ReplyDeleteMany times I hear from my wife that I should dress better. I think we have officially gotten to the point where she feels the time has come for her to start picking out my clothes for me. However, I feel the complete opposite about the way i dress. Well I can see her point of view for special occassions and going out places- I dont ever feel comfortable dressing up and I want to dress up, so to speak. I am one of those people where if I didn't have to I would just stay in my pajamas all day because thats what I feel comfortable in! I think that is probably one of the reasons I have decided to become an RN - just so i can scrubs all day AND get the respect from others you often times don't get when you're dressed down. Like those times when you take a quick trip to the video store or to pick up small list at the grocery store.
Until my days as a RN i think I will pick and chose my battles over the dressing up issue.
Tim Cereceres
PROXEMICS:
ReplyDeleteMy friends constantly make it a point to invade my personal space, probably because I really hate when people get close to me or touch me. I never was a fan of touching growing up (my mother asks permission to hug me) and as I got older I guess I just never grew fond of the personal space norms that my group of friends have. When I say they invade my personal space it isn't as simple as they hug me or put their hand on my shoulder; they do things like pin me down and sniff me or about 5 of them sit right next/ on top of me just to watch me squirm. But I must admit that after many years of this torture, I don't find it as uncomfortable in fact outside of the outlandish attempts to invade my personal space I welcome the occasional embrace.
Rachelle Reed
Silence:
ReplyDeleteIn different cultures, to be quiet or silent in the presence of company can mean different things. In some culture when men are talking women are to be quiet. In some american culture kids are to be quiet when adults are speaking. Silence should be used when needed but some individuals are quiet because they are shy or simply not interested in other people. In the American culture you should not speak unless being spoken to when dealing with authorative people like a judge when you attend court. Being silent can give its own meaning to who you are that may be wrong and that would allow people to give assumptions.
-Jacqueline Green
Kinesics:
ReplyDeleteIn the Indian culture it is considered disrespectful for a wife to sit before her husband on any occasion, but especially when guests are around. Doing so becomes interpreted as her not having respect for her husband. It is a woman's job to serve her husband, and if she does anything to jeopardize his stature and authority within the household, that is not fulfilling her duties to him. It is a part of an Indian woman's script to give priority to her husband's needs.
Bharathi
I have been told my entire life people can see what I am feeling or thinking through my eyes or other facial expressions. I have been working at not just reacting to life dituations and instead taking it in and taking quiet time around situations and praying first. This has been a challenge but I like the changes that I am seeing e.g. way less drama in my life and around me and the peolle who I spend time with. I have alot more inner peace now because of it.Daily I get lots of practice. It has taught me to slow down alot more and when I don't there is a ton of wreckage that I get to eat alot of crow myself over Sandra; I can't tell you how many times I have gone to my sponsor to tell her what I have done and then ask " okay how do I fix this" thankfully I haven't had alot of those but they will be presented to me so God can grow me. Michelle P
ReplyDeleteProxemics:
ReplyDeleteIn my friend group, we are very fond of hugging, touching, cuddling close on the couch or floor and watching movies, trading massages, whatever. we are very physically affectionate and use touch to display our love and connection with one another. There is nothing sexual about our intimacy (although, sometimes flirtatious), it's just how we display affection. This can be offputting for newcommers to our group, especially when my male friends begin dating someone new who may not be comfortable with their guy being affectionate with another woman, regardless of the lack of sexual interest.
Amber Beckton
Kinesics
ReplyDeleteMy boyfriend always tells me that he can tell that im mad by the way I walk and by looking at my eyes. I always tell him that he's crazy.I don't want to tell him but HE"S RIGHT.Most of the time he accuses me of being mad or feeling down I usually am feeling that way. Before he ever start telling me these things about my self I never noticed them. Now that he's been telling me I notice my nonveral communication more now. When I feel myself throwing myself around I hurry up in try to fix my posture. It's not that Im trying to hide the fact that im mad or im not feeling good. It's the fact that i don't like being scrutinized about the way the way I'm feeling. Reading chapter five has definitely helped me to pay more attention to my non verbal communication. U-kyra
My boyfriend judges me on my movement or the way im looking sometimes. some times i dont realize how my face is looking to certain people. i guess because the way my expressions come across are strong. sometimes he can read me by not even saying anything (body language) lol... Sometimes this can be a good thing. I think sometimes it can be a bad thing though if he accuses me of thinking a certain way and i'm not and it makes me mad it can cause a serious argument. Brianne K
ReplyDeleteProxemics
ReplyDeleteThe study of the cultural, behavioral, and sociological aspects of spatial distances between individuals. When you first meet some one your not to eager to give some one a hug or even stand to close to them, all because everyone has a different standards of personal space. For example people from a certain culture may give someone a kiss on the cheek when they say high or bye. And when someone thats not use to saying high or bye this way, might feel like your invading their personal space and give the person a weird look. My take on this is that i myself have a certain space issue, im not going to give someone i dont even know a hug but if know who they are and is my friend i might consider.
Brandon Tacotaco
Kinesics
ReplyDeleteEven if my boyfriend and I have only been going out for 8 months we happen to know eachother very well that even if I tell him Im not mad just by looking at me he knows if Im lying or not. He says I usually look away when something is bothering me and I start cracking my nuckles. I really hadnt noticed that I did such things but after reading chapter 5 of my book I told myself that next time I got mad I would try to notice my nonverbal communication. Luckly I was actually able to notice what I do when I get mad but verbally I tell my boyfriend Im not mad.
Cristina Jimenez
Paralanguage
ReplyDeleteIn my line of work I am on the telephone 95% of the time. I deal with alot of information that is confidential and time consuming to complete. There are some days when I have to deal with a caller who is very irrational, abrupt and out right ignorant. Those are the moments where I want to scream , but instead I will give off a long sigh of irritation or a gasp of inpatience. Since I have to maintain a professional tone with them I notice that sometimes I may take their frustration too personal and the tone in my voice when responding back to them can be a little sarcastic and condescending because I have gotten to the point of my own irritation. I know I have tendency to be impatient because tie is of the essence in my line of work, but hopefully one day I can learn to not take their lashing out so personal.
Mimi L.
I'm going to use Chronemics for my example. When I was younger I used to play soccer. It would take usually 8-10 minutes for my parents to drive to where my soccer practice was located. I always wanted to make sure that I arrived at practice 10-15 minutes early. I didn't want to be late to a practice ever, and I was rarely, if ever, late to practice. I guess I was a product of a culture that values time especially in the world of sports. Being early or on time, showed that I wanted to be punctual and valued how I used my time.
ReplyDeleteDaniel McNeil
Artifacts:
ReplyDeleteI think that the way I dress expresses the kind of person I am because I do not dress like the other girls my age. I do not wear the latest fashions; I wear something of my own style which makes me different from everyone else. This type of nonverbal communication is important to defining who I am against the rest of society. I think that's why I think so hard about what I'm going to wear on the first day of class because I want to show that I'm different. But then, I also choose an outfit that won't draw attention to me...is that contradictory? >__<
Heather Ito
The non-verbal communication that i am going to give an example from my life is " Silence". Often when someone upsets me i tend to shut down and not say anything. Usually the person that upsets or irritates me tries to talk to me and i wont say anything at all. Even though i don't say anything the other person knows that i am upset. My family usually knows that whenim silent im upset or sad. It is true that so much can be said without saying a single word.
ReplyDeleteBless McCrary
Paralanguage
ReplyDeleteI work in the customer service sector. I have noticed many folks have very little patience when they have to wait in line for longer than a few minutes. There are many elderly customers that come through my place of business. Many of them still enjoy the art of check writing. Customers behind them would start getting restless.They would start smacking their lips and letting out a deep breath.If not that they would usually murmur something to themselves. I do not mind it at all. I tend to look at it as a mini break. =o)
AiR
Physical Appearance
ReplyDeleteAs far as my appearance goes, what ever happens to be the least dirty is what I wear for the day. And I enjoy dressing down all the time. Its why I love being a life guard I can wear the same blue shorts every day and role out of bed and go to work. Its where I met my girl friend, under the sun looking like a bum. I believe if you can fall in love with someone when the are looking their worst, then your ment to be together. I fell in love with her after looking at her everyday for four months, sweating, smelling like chlorine and sun-block. And she saw me unshaven, sweating yelling at kids to walk and hocking flem all over the pool deck.
And now when she sees me get dressed up on those special occasions, she always gives me the double take, she can appreciate the cleaned up version of me. And I get a break from the, "really! Is that what your wearing?"
Its very nice
Chronemics:
ReplyDeleteI have always taken time seriously and am always aware the time. One could even say I pay too much attention to it. Growing up, my father was always early to everything and my mother could care less. He was always letting us know when we were leaving and how much time we had till then. My mother on the other time left when she was ready wether or not she was running late or not. They are total opposites when it comes to time. I somehow took after my father because I am always the early one and freak out when I am late. It's interesting to see my environment that I was raised in and that I ended up taking my ideals of time from my father.
Paige Miller
Artifacts
ReplyDeleteI can relate to both Heather and Rob in regards to how I dress. Like Heather, I tend not to dress like typical girls--I dress rather casual and typically wear "unisexual" clothing and try to avoid anything that stands out (flamboyantly). But as Heather mentioned, that would probabaly inadvertently make us stand out more especially amongst a crowd of other girls that so dress more stylish. I dress in clothes that are comforatble and quick and easy to put on because I'm a lazy bum and could careless how I look while going out to nowhere special. Of course, I can "fix myself up" when the situation calls for it (e.g., jobs, interviews, special occasions).
I notice that when I do dress in casual girl clothes (e.g., a fitted [girl] t-shirt and jeans), some of my guy friends who see me in girl clothes for the first time act awkwardly around me and treat me like a stranger. E.g., they're a little more conservative on their topics, watch what they say, or apoogize for any lewd comments that may offend me. Once, one of my guy friends told me to wash my face off (makeup) and put on my jacket/sweatshirt so he wouldn't feel weird talking to me. I still find it interesting how the way I dress affects some of my (guy) friends' attitudes towards me.
--JuliaK
These are good--wow! Thanks--S
ReplyDelete