Moving from chpt 2 to chpt 3 in your textbook: In The New Earth, Tolle reminds us that the ego, which plays a major roll in shaping our self image --wants us to want--that is to say--The ego of our mind encourages us to feel disastisfied or want more than we have. You can see how this was important for species evolution or development: it sounds motivating, right? A drive to do better, improve yourself--that's gotta be good! But what about when it leads to unhappiness and even violence--Today--it is so easy to get so stuck in wanting we forget to ever be satisfied with what we have right now--or accept who we are without "stuff"--Wanting keeps you living in the future, when your goal should be presence, or living in the "Now." The ego equates 'wanting' with 'being' says Tolle on p. 45 of his book. What about you, have you ever longed for something, wanted it and wished for it, looked forward to it, and when you finally got it, well--it was not as satisfying as you'd dreamed, or you immediately turned to a new "want?" Our identitity, or as Wood calls it "our created self" shouldn't rely on things we have.
For this blog give us a personal example: It's ok to be humorous, humor helps break down barriers and get to know who we really are, without our "stuff!" Tell us about a time you got something you wanted and just ended up wanting more or something else or ended up disappointed. This could be a gift, clothes, technology, a relationship--whatever. Are you ready now to see eyond the "stuff" in your life?
The wants of mankind are insatibale, meaning that our wants are never ending. This does provide us with motivation to achieve more in order for us obtain these wants, however this part of our ego also leads us to be in a constant state of dissatisfaction. I know for me personally I have in the past spent much of my time working towards a future and not embrassing the present. For example in the past I would work really hard in my relationship with my girlfriend because I want to build something towards the future. Unfortunately I have found out that if your are constantly focused on working towards the future you can often neglect the present. So, with me being so future oriented I would forget to live in the present.I would often over look little issues in our relationship that needed to be addressed because I did not think they were a bid deal. I was focused on our relationship in the future not the current state of our relationship. Until I took the psychology of death and dying with Tom Bruce at City College I was always forward focused. It was not until I took his class and I sat down with him during his office hour and he offered me some advise. He told me to live in every moment of everyday because one day those moments will no longer be here and i will let life pass right by me with out ever enjoying it. So, with all that said I will leave you with my favorite quote that my oldest brother who was murdered a few years back used to tell me all the time. "The past is history, the future is a mystery, that's why we call it the present because every day is a gift."
ReplyDeleteJarreau Gilbert
As we were talking about living in the moment and being in the present today, I couldn't help but think how I always seemed to want something as a child. I thought of the book "The Berstein Bears and the Gimmies". My mom would always read this to me as a child whenever I wanted something. The book basically teaches children how we should be happy with what we have because there are children out there that have less to nothing. Thinking about it now, I am pretty content with what I have. Obviously we all have wants and needs, but what we don't realize is that we already have a lot. I believe I have moved beyond the "stuff". I have a home, a car, loving friends and family, and a great boyfriend, and enough money to get by. We really don't realize how much a gift the present is until we can move beyond the "stuff". paige miller
ReplyDeleteIt is a common human flaw to be dissatisfied with what you have and to successively want - as Jerreau said. Some would argue that it is possible to overcome this want. I, however, would argue that it is circumstantial - it depends on what you want, and how badly you want it. For example, I am a big Ne-Yo fan, and really wanted to go to a concert of his if he was in the area. But I knew realistically, that was probably not going to happen. Until I lucked out and was able to buy tickets for his concert in Oakland. I was ecstatic to be going, but at the same time, it wasn't about my want anymore because I had already accepted not getting what I wanted (my ego was no longer playing a part in my thoughts). It was about me excited to enjoy a concert by a very talented gentleman (I was in the present)! And it was AMAZING and totally worth going to Oakland for - I left the concert happy....."...and it's all because of..." Ne-Yo!!!!
ReplyDeleteBharathi Natrajan
I would have to agree with Bharathi that it is human nature to want more and be dissatisfied with what we have. I can also relate to Paige how as a child I always wanted something. Even as a teenager, back in 2002, I remember when Playstation 2 (a video game console) first came out. I wanted one so bad I got my dad to pay for part of it as a Christmas gift, and I paid the rest. Once I obtained it, I became pretty estatic. However, as time went by I became less and less interested in it. This Playstation 2 didn't satisfy me and just left me with wanting a better video game console. Overall, I have learned that materialism will never satisfy and I can be content with what I have. I know that my identity is based on who I am, not what I own.
ReplyDeleteDaniel McNeil
In my opinion I trully believe that our drive to want stuff such as material things comes from our ego and the media that does anything possible to get us to purchase that new dress, phone, playstation, etc. I would have to say that I agree with Daniel that once we have that object/thing we want we become less and less interested in it. Now something new we have seen comes along a becomes something new we want. Like many other women I love shopping, it distracts my mind. But Ive come to realize that when you have a family, partener and your personal needs are satisfied the material needs mean more. I guess what Im trying to say is that if you buy that pretty dress you have been wanting for weeks, now that you have a person to share it with (a boyfriend that wants to take you to dinner and wants you to wear that dress of yours) makes it alot more meaningful and the interest in the object doesnt fly away so quickly due to the fact that you associate it with spending time with your loved one.
ReplyDeleteCristina Jimenez
As far as ego goes, its really only a problem in the Western cultures. In the East, all the religions preach egolessness. So in the East, everybody is against the ego from the very beginning.
ReplyDeleteSo what makes us want worthless things like boats, high end clothes or even electronics? Thats the million dollar question, I think its Americas need to be seen in the world. Its like when siblings fight over their parents attention, America, the youngest country or child in the family trys to get the attention of the world, the parents but collecting isn't the way to show our independence or our superiority.
But we are all guilty of envy or lust, hell I was out at a bar with my friends and my buddy had an awesome looking drink. This thing was green and had the most intoxication smell(pardon the pun) and I wanted one. So I decided to get one, but I didn't have any money so I hornswoggled three of my friends to get some money so I could buy this drink. 30 mins later I got it, and it was discussing!! Worst drink ever, I didn't know what I was getting myself into.
Moral of the story, research and wait before you purchase something you think you want.
One example of me wanting something would have to be when i received a guitar for my birthday. For the longest time i had been wanting to learn how to play. As soon as i got it I attempted to play it for the first week. It has remained in a corner for the last year or so. I primarily use it to hang my coat on . Maybe one day I will take another shot at it. Until then it is a handy coat rack. =0)
ReplyDeleteReading this blog reminds me so much of myself a few years back. It is so true that us as humans beings often long for things that we think will make us happy, yet when we get those things we are still unsatisfied. For me it wasn't something inparticular, I just always lived in the future constantly wanting this or that,believing that those things would make me happy. When i did get the things that i wanted nothing changed. I know that nothing changed as far as my happiness because happiness comes from within. We often are our own worst enemy, being blinded by things that seem beautiful. Living in the moment is so much easier and refreshing than living in the I want and I need.
ReplyDeleteBless McCrary
Well this is such a great topic! Is enough ever enough?? I have a life laundry list for this topic, however to just pick one thing that would be freedom from my obsession with food. I mostly have that today however I now see where the disease of food addiction is in my mind and the results were on my body.Having freedom from the food has shown me where my ego wants to go next; I often pray and say the serrenity prayer and get into service to help others. I do my life differently today because all roads lead to opening the door of active food addiction.I practice daily and get varying degrees of success of staying in the momment and being satisfied with exactly what i have and that it is enough and that anymore would be to much. mp
ReplyDeleteWell i really liked this television. It was really nice it was a flat screen with a wall mount. I wanted it for my room.So as soon as I got the money i went out and bought it. It looks really nice in my room and makes the room stand out. But its seems like what you want always turns into another want. The thing that you wanted doesnt really seem like much once you get it. Thats why people take advantage what they have and really dont never realize what they have unless the loose it. Doing this blog really made me realize its more stuff to life than the nice things i have. Alot of people base theirselves on what they have and its not all about that. Brianne K
ReplyDeleteOne time, while shopping with my family, we went into a store that sold clothes for older woman or woman in older generations. In that store, I saw this black collar shirt that I thought looked really cool at the time. I even tried it on and I had no doubt that it was the type of collar shirt I have been looking for. My mom kept asking me if I really wanted that shirt because she knew the style was aimed to fit the tastes of older woman. Still, I insisted that it was alright and in the end, my mom bought it for me, under the condition that I will definitely wear it. Then I got home and tried it on once more in my room.
ReplyDeleteI haven't worn it since.
Perhaps my stomach was empty or my adrenalin kicked in to high gear but something clouded my mind into buying that not-so-tight shirt that did end up to be a big disappointment. Every time I see it hanging in my closet, my stomach turns over and I am filled with guilt because my mom wasted her money on my naive "want". Now, I know to think these things out more and make better decisions.
Heather Ito
One of the most insatiable drives we as humans have is the drive to want more. One of the drives that I have is to want more money in my bank account. L always try to save more money and make more money at my job. I have noticed over the years that as my salary has doubled since I began working at my current job, I am still in the same predicament of wanting to make more. I am even going to back to school to go into a nursing program that will help me make even more money. But where will it end?
ReplyDeleteUp until this point I have seen the material things grow in my house and I still feel that I don't have the things i want. I am currently trying to assess the difference between a want and a need. I think this will help me in the future to not only save money but to also take inventory of the important things in life, most importantly the people.
My grandmother always reminded me that if it can be replaced its not that important. I think this is an important rule to try to live by especially in this type of economic crisis our country is in.
Tim Cereceres
I was just talking about this the other day so I'm glad its our blog. My brother just recently bought a new Saab (at 20). He was talking about wanting a different kind of car, so my older brother and I were shocked because he just got it. We joked that maybe when he got older he would learn to be satisfied with what he has. So when I started thinking about my response I realized its somewhat unfair for me to judge because I recently did a similar thing. I never cared about cars, in fact I've only own cars when I've lived in suburban areas and as soon as I move to a place where I don't "need" one I'd sell mine. However I've always liked and had bikes (i also think its funny that the thumbnail is a cruiser). I decided I would search for a vintage bike, and I found this really cool "good vibrations" cruiser. I painted it and started riding it around. I was satisfied with it for like a day but then I order chrome fenders, a handle bar, a seat and new tires; granted my bike already had all of these things. I just wanted it to look cooler in a way, I really don't know what I was thinking but even now I find myself looking at other cruisers and its winter!
ReplyDelete~Rachelle Reed
A time that I wanted something, but ended up being disappointed in the end was probably when I was in the 4th grade. I wanted a keyboard really bad; everytime I went to Target, I would go to the music section and play with the keyboard. My dad finaly gave in and bought me the keyboard for $200. Once I got it, I was happy, but grew tired of it quick because I didn't know how to play any songs (nor did I want to learn). From that point on, it has been sitting on a table off to the side, collecting up dust. Or actually, it's back in its original box because cleaning it was too troublesome.
ReplyDeleteAn example of when I wanted something and ended wanting up more was when I started collecting anime figures/statues. It started out with little minature keychain figures (which were about $10), then it grew into 6-12 inch figures. I'm incredibly happy with all of my figures everytime I got them, but I would go and search for more that I wanted. Eventually I stopped buying them because I had a budget (rent, cellphone, utilities, food, school supplies/books etc.) and those figures are very rip-off in price. I still want to collect select figures 'til this day, even though I don't need them, nor do they serve any purpose other than stand there and 'look pretty'.
My dad taught me long ago to not waste money on things that I don't need. He knows that I spend my money wisely because I always keep a budget for my expenses that I do need, so he doesn't say anything to me about the figures (plus I restrained myself from buying them).
--Julia KongA time that I wanted something, but ended up being disappointed in the end was probably when I was in the 4th grade. I wanted a keyboard really bad; everytime I went to Target, I would go to the music section and play with the keyboard. My dad finaly gave in and bought me the keyboard for $200. Once I got it, I was happy, but grew tired of it quick because I didn't know how to play any songs (nor did I want to learn). From that point on, it has been sitting on a table off to the side, collecting up dust. Or actually, it's back in its original box because cleaning it was too troublesome.
An example of when I wanted something and ended wanting up more was when I started collecting anime figures/statues. It started out with little minature keychain figures (which were about $10), then it grew into 6-12 inch figures. I'm incredibly happy with all of my figures everytime I got them, but I would go and search for more that I wanted. Eventually I stopped buying them because I had a budget (rent, cellphone, utilities, food, school supplies/books etc.) and those figures are very rip-off in price. I still want to collect select figures 'til this day, even though I don't need them, nor do they serve any purpose other than stand there and 'look pretty'.
My dad taught me long ago to not waste money on things that I don't need. He knows that I spend my money wisely because I always keep a budget for my expenses that I do need, so he doesn't say anything to me about the figures (plus I restrained myself from buying them).
--Julia Kong
The mind is very powerful and can be trouble if you dont know who you are. You need a sense of control and identity. Something that is egotistical from me is wanting all the Levi specific style jeans. I wanted all the new ones that came out, I love fashion and like the options its gives. I know now that its not something I have to have. Its a want but not a need and I realize now that I can do other things with my money.
ReplyDeleteThe mind is very powerful and can be trouble if you dont know who you are. You need a sense of control and identity. Something that is egotistical from me is wanting all the Levi specific style jeans. I wanted all the new ones that came out, I love fashion and like the options its gives. I know now that its not something I have to have. Its a want but not a need and I realize now that I can do other things with my money.
ReplyDeleteJacqueline Green
I KNOW! It is so hard not to get caught up in "the wants!" I really enjoyed and was inspired by these personal examples--thank you!
ReplyDeleteSandra
Rant....We live in a Nation that glamorizes capitol gains. More is better and the more of "it" you have the better off you are. Individually, it is possible to be satisfied; but that satisfaction is going to come from a conscious effort of realization. One would have to realize that there will never be an end to wanting more; that the end will have to come from you the individual making a decision.
ReplyDeleteI wanted something cool from my boyfriend for my birthday last year. He's always given me practical gifts and i was so banking on clothes, jewelery, something fancy.... ok- so He comes over and brings me a f*ck*n space heater. OMG i could have died- I was so set on superficial and because of my expectation i was livid and dissapointed.
Hindsight... it's always 20/20.... I realized that he could'nt have been more thoughful. I'm always cold, and my apt has a wall heater in the living room, and doesn't reach back to my bedroom which remains icy in the cold Sacramento winter months. He thinks, lets get the girl a heater so she doesn't have to choose between sleeping on the warm couch or in the frozen bedroom. I was stupid- he was awesome ;o)
Zuleika:
ReplyDeleteOnce I really wanted to have a basketball hoop in my backyard. I was always moving and So I believed that having one would still have me moving when I was at home and bored instead of sitting down watching television. Unfortunately for me I did not predict two things; 1)how BORING it would be to have a basketball hoop when no one in my family would actually play with me, and 2) that I would find my skills to be more of a problem than I would like to spend time on. So I got the hoop and found that my neighbor's put their hoop to better use. I still believe to this day that if SOMEONE would have played with me I actually would use that hoop more often. I also know that I have too many excuses for not using it now like I'm not home enough to use it and when I am it's dark, cold, and apparently not a good time to shoot hoops. Thus, it's pretty much been abandoned and I hope we will reunite soon- if I get over my excuses.
Yes I have a consent case of "the want" I am a photographer and no matter what equipment I get to add to what I have I am always finding new toys and new things I would like to add to my arsenal. Many of the things I just put on a list of would like to get but not right now. But I always manage to find at least one thing that I just "can't" do with out. That if I get that one piece it will help me so tremendously it will take my pictures up to the next level getting closer to the profession and being published and recognized. The only thing I have in my equipment at the moment which I am totally happy with is my camera and that is simply because I just upgraded 3 months ago from an older model to almost the newest thing on the market. So "the want" can indeed be a pricey thing to deal and live with.
ReplyDeleteWill Armstrong
I am what my friend laughingly refers to as a "Shoe Whore". I love heels. Especially HIGH heels. I have found over the years that I have this insatiable need to find heels that go higher and higher.
ReplyDeleteIt started out with 3 inches. Those where the standard for my theater shoes I wore in musicals in high school. Once I got comfortable enough to dance and tap in them, I started looking for even higher shoes to wear, not just for dancing but for going out.
Next came the 4 inchers, and the 5 inchers when I wanted to be super killer on my feet. After discovering some pole dance workshops in San Francisco, I graduated to 6 inch platform lucite heels. Sure they were amazing at first, but I still wanted more. (You think I would've have stopped at pointe shoes and called it a day after dancing on my toes)..
I now have a vast collection of heels ranging all the way up to 7 1/2 and 8 inch spike heels. As far as I know 8 inches is highest heel they make right now, so I'm forced to stop. Haha. But one thing I've realized after taking a look at my shoe collection is that I really only wear a few pairs frequently and the rest get a lot of shelf time. It's funny to look at the pairs I favor and the pairs I just bought for kicks and never really wore again. You can be I wear those 8 inchers like a champ though!
Alisa Escalante
Something I really enjoy in life would be money, but I knew the best way to get it was to have a job. So I really set my sights on getting a job asap. I was looking forward to what my first job will be. I was being a bit picky at first but then I finally found a part-time job as a packager at the Sac Bee. I was starting to get excited to the fact that now I'll be able to make some money and buy whatever I wanted. I go to work for the first couple weeks and feel this is easy, I could probably do this everyday working full time. I get my first check and celebrated by spending it all! I was really enjoying my job, it was easy, no stress to the job really, just to show up and do what you need to do. I was so happy with my job until a couple months later where things started to agitate me little by little. Things like taking up my weekend time, having to cover for other employees, the boredom of repetitive actions, and other things that made me go...."why am I still doing this?" As much as I enjoy money, having a job just wasn't something I wanted anymore, and yet I am still there to this day(darn you intuition fees). Hopefully I can find a new job that's better, but you never know, I may even regret getting that job even more than the one I have now.
ReplyDeleteDaniel Flores
I always want something "NEW!" No matter if its a pair of shoes, an item of clothing,a movie, a new cell phone,a new career,food, etc.,just something that has a some tangibleness. It's as if my ego is never statisfied with what I currently have. I always want to experience "NEW" things and I feel if time passes and I haven't got to do that NEW thing or purchase that "NEW" item, that I have failed!
ReplyDeleteThe older I get the more I'm starting to realize that some things matter more than others. So I'm currently trying my best to be a little more logical about wanting the "NEW" whatever it is. Some things are just not worth the stress of having. When you die you can't take it all with you. Alot of my previous thought process of having "NEW" items was loosely based on the Hollywood celebrity hoopla and the lifestyles they all live. Their lives are surrounded by Money, Money, Money! After a closer observation, I learned that half of them have MEGA issues that go along with all that money!Drug & alcohol related issues,domestic, legal, family, financial and issues of instability. Now I think to myself is my wanting a "NEW" item worth the stress of my ego? 'Nah, I will give it a break and focus on the fundamentals of life.' Home,food,family & freinds, education, life, employment and my sanity. My insatiable spirit will have to take a backseat to those "NEW" things, at least for awhile until I can adjust to the realities of living in the now.
Mimi L.
Anonymous said...
ReplyDeleteThe mind is very powerful and can be trouble if you dont know who you are. You need a sense of control and identity. Something that is egotistical from me is wanting all the Levi specific style jeans. I wanted all the new ones that came out, I love fashion and like the options its gives. I know now that its not something I have to have. Its a want but not a need and I realize now that I can do other things with my money.
Abrar
February 16, 2009 7:18 PM